But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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