yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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