My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
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if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
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