Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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