i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
