Betty ford says i'm here all night
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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