ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
