Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
