pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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