Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
