She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
