Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You dont lie about slip and slides
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Randomize