yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
