Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Less talking, more tequila
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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