Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
