If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
