I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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