i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
