Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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