Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
