i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
