What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
