dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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