I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
