We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
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She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
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Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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