I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
