And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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