This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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