im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize