maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
