Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
