i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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