Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize