So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
