3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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