i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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