my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize