And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
