remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
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I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
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If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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