Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
