you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
