She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
