I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
