K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
