They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
