dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
