it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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