3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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