Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
