Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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