She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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