next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
