I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You may now shotgun with the bride
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
