i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
