Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
