so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
