i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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