ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
