It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
