Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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