why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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