dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Randomize
