It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Enjoy the penises
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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